Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
