Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
