Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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