Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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