mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
where does the pee come out of this thing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I party with great urgency now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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