Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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