This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
