We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
