The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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