Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Houston, we have a squirter
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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