Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
