My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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