I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
