Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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