Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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