I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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