Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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