Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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