the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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