can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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