Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
