if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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