you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
