Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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