I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
