Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
