everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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