No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
