she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
