if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
