please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
