The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
