You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
