Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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