Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
