There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize