Do vagina's smell?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize