69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize