that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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