I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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