is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize