her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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