So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Im part way to drunk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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