I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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