Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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