I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
