The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
