im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
last night I used snow as a chaser
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
