opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
