I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
