well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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