you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
