mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
