I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize