Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
