I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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