So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
