What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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