I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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