you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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