Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
